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You know that feeling when you know you’ve accomplished something amazing? Or that feeling when you’ve practiced something for a long time and you were able to do it? That’s how I feel with art. Art is something that I’ve always struggled with. It’s not the easiest thing to do unless you have a stellar talent for it, I clearly don’t.

I think having someone to inspire you is more important than being born with special talents. Because when someone has inspired you, you want to try harder and they are there for you and you know it. My inspiration is my eighth grade art teacher, Mr. David. He was always there for me and he always helped me and believed in me even when I didn’t. He is one of the reason I love art and want to become an artist. Don’t get me wrong art is still something many people love, use for stress relief, or just do it as a hobby.

Art is something I do because I love it. It’s just a way of showing who you are or what you are feeling without having to explain it with words. Ever since I was little I was super creative and I loved to draw and paint. My homework was  always covered with little doodles, sometimes there were more drawings than actual homework. I was in an art class in elementary school and I loved it, I always thought I wasn’t amazing at it but I had the potential to get better and that’s what I did. I’ve practiced ever since I was little, and it wasn’t easy to get everything how I wanted it to be.

It’s not the easiest subject, definitely not. Artist most of the time will want someone’s approval. “An artist’s work is never done” as my friend had said. It takes a really confident artist to not have someone’s approval and just paint for themselves and show it off. It’s something I am trying to work on. I criticize my work way more than others do most of the time.

When I say most of the time, I mean last year when I was given an art project and I had so many things go wrong. My paint wouldn’t dry, my only gold marker ran out of ink halfway through my painting, I couldn’t get the lines even for at least an hour, and it was just not my lucky day. Then when I thought it was good, given my circumstances my “friend” saw it. He immediately said “This looks terrible, come on you put like no effort into this.” After that I never wanted to show anyone any of my artwork ever again. He was always criticizing my work and I hated it, he never said anything positive even when I told him I didn’t want his opinion. He never tried that hard so I was just questioning, “was he just being rude or is it really that bad?”.

I never thought it was bad, but I never turned it in because I thought it wasn’t good enough. Most of my friends said it was good and he was just jealous. He was not exactly talented and he never tried as hard as I did. What I took away from what happened was that I need to not listen to the people who are just saying mean things to be mean. I need to stand up for my work and I need to be more faithful in my work. I have become a better artist because of this. I’ve wanted to get more feedback and only listen to the people who are just trying to help. I am trying to push myself a lot harder doing drawings or paintings that I thought I could never do

So to try and push mysel fI tried drawing an eye. I always have struggled with any kind of facial feature, but now I can do eyes so easily and they don’t look bad at all. I went to my friend’s advisory one day and her advisor is the art teacher and he let me have a piece of wood and said I could use the paint. He way really nice and helped me the whole time. I was just going to draw the eye and color it with sharpie or something, but then I pushed myself to paint it. I’ve never been good at painting, I’ve always struggled with it. I stayed after school one day and stayed until I finished it. It turned out really good and I was really happy with how it looks now.

I never thought I could paint something like this before. I always was thinking I could never be as good as most people, but the reality is I can be if I tried hard enough and kept working at my goal. I have plans for the feature, but they all go in different directions. Some lead to art, some lead to being a veterinarian, and some lead to architectural design. They all interest me, but let's focus on my art goals.  

My art dream is to finish high school of course, and practice for all four years. Then go to a college and take a two year course in a subject that is less specific and can open up more jobs if I don’t become a successful artist. Then go to an art school, apply to a bunch of them then choose the best fit for me at the time. After that I want to make as many painting/drawings as I can so I could have my own art exposition and sell art. It’s a risky business because it’s not exactly going to be 100% efficient, but if I am able to do well I think I should be fine. This is what I would like to happen.

What I want to happen and what is going to happen is in my control but I have no idea where I am going to end up, even if I do have a precise plan. Even just looking back on my elementary school self I think little first grade me would be proud of where I am now, because I know that I am proud of myself. I made it to high school and that for the most part I am doing well, and on top of that doing something I love.

For most people it takes a lot longer to find something that they love and to be able to do it as well. I was just one of the lucky ones that found it early, and I think that what I love is something that is really special to me. It makes me, me and I would never want to change that. I love art and I’m inspired everyday by people that have tried. People will ask who my favorite artist is and my answer will be “everyone who has ever tried.”