BLOGS

BLOG 1: So far I've been putting everything off. Not going to lie. Since I am doing this project by myself I have to do all the work. The outreach email, Organizing, building the website, and a mini project about five photographs and the research behind them. Which will bet posted next week.

So far I have mostly finished half of everything, and it's all due tomorrow.... I don't know if I'll be able to finish it all because I redo everything until I'm happy with it. But I think I should be able to. If I work really really hard.

I am just worried that in the end of all this I won't have the end product that I want. That it will end up being terrible and no one will want to actually look at it. I have been working hard actually, but mostly on the future stuff. Like figuring out the pictures I want to take, my models, my quotes. Mostly the creative, interesting, and fun stuff. I love that part of the project. It's just all this preparing stuff I hate. I have so many ideas for the photos I want to take and so many people have given me great ideas. I want to do artistic twist with most of them. Like painting on my models faces. Or having a ribbon in each photo. Kind of like my symbolic touch I guess. I can't wait till I can actually see the photos in my head come to life. I just hope they come out how I want

BLOG 2: I changed my project. I really just wanted to focus on Anxiety because I know more people who deal with Anxiety. So I have more of a connection to it. I know what it looks like, what it does, I just know more about it and have a better way to capture anxiety in my photos. I have gotten all of my stuff done from last week. I haven't pushed anything off. I have all my assignments turned it, I have appointments set up to take pictures using people in them, I have my website updated, and them to. I need them to. I've always wanted to have one of the best exhibitions but I've never worked hard enough or felt like I wanted to work harder in a project. I want to work hard on this project and do well.

BLOG 3: So far this experience had been ok. I am working independently, which I chose to do. Originally I was with a group but it wasn’t working out. We weren’t getting anything done and every two minutes someone was getting distracted. I gave it a week and we still didn’t even have a plan, we didn’t even chose a mental illness. So I left. I already knew what topic I had wanted to cover, which topic was the most interesting to me. When I left I had already come up with a plan and my topics. I had my plan, then when I talked to my old group about my project. Ours was so similar. They were depression photography and I was depression and Anxiety photography. Then one of them started getting mad. The last thing I wanted to happen was to be called a copier and caused a conflict over something like that. When I knew it wasn’t necessary. I made some adjustments to my project. I went just to anxiety, which helped a little in some ways. One topic so easier to take pictures with, but at the same time I have a closer connection with depression. Even if I haven’t experience it, I have friends and family who deal with it. It was just easier for me to be able to make it more personal and have a better point of view on it. But I changed it. I love my photos and I have a lot of things done. This process has been really frustrating at first but I think everything is slowly starting to fall into place. It’s just up to me to keep working and figure out how to use the pieces I have to make an amazing project and exhibition.

Something I’ve learned about myself is that I’m not that driven of a person when it comes to something I’m being told to do. I didn’t like all the things we had to do for the first two weeks, all the setting up, and all the practicing. To me it was useless and I didn’t need to do it. I still feel like it was a waste of time, I talked to a lot of people about that too and they agreed. I wanted to get good grades on it and I was trying to focus and do what my teacher way telling me to. But I Just stopped doing anything and when we were supposed to be working I was talking and just watching videos on youtube. But once it was time to actually work and for me to have to do more on this project I started working. I was sick of not doing anything and everyone had a message and a meaning to their projects already, and I didn’t. When I started working I learned a lot of things about photography that I didn’t know needed to be applied.

Photography is a lot harder than people make it out to be. I didn’t know anything about it. I started getting discouraged about it, but I didn’t let it take me down. I did my own research on it plus the sites my teacher had shown us. I learned about the rule of thirds, color choices, filters, lighting, texture, etc. I didn’t think of so many things until this project. I thought it would be a lot easier to take photo’s, but the first couple ones I took weren’t professional and they weren’t turning out how I wanted them to look in my head. That’s when I started to research a lot more. The “science” behind it, I guess. I just wanted them to look better and I needed them to look better. I didn’t want to be the only project that didn’t do well.

Overall, I think my project is going pretty well. I don’t really know what my end goal is. I guess that is just when I feel like my project is done. Right now I can tell it’s far from done. I hate being in line with everyone because when I am then I get behind really easily. I like to be ahead in projects. It’s just where I am comfortable.

BLOG 4: I have so many new ideas it's not even funny. I have new photo ideas so I have my model helping me with that today, at 2:45. So I'm pretty excited about that. She's been in all of my pictures I've showed you, because she works really hard and she tries her best every single time. She's my favorite person ever.

I have new ideas for the exhibition too. We are already making soap but I want to make bath bombs, soap, cookies, etc. Just stuff that I can sell and give the money to a charity. Probably Rady's Children Mental Hospital. I really want to be able to make and sell bath bombs, soap, cookies, and maybe the sugar scrub cubs that my teacher had shown us.

So far the hardest part of my project is voicing my ideas. Cause there's no one to tell them to other then my teacher or someone who could help me. So I have no one to talk to before I do that to make sure its a good idea. So every time I Have a new idea I've been pushing it off and just planning it before I told someone. I need to stop that and take control of it but I don't want people to think I'm stupid you know.